Thursday, August 14, 2008
My will

Lol joke
i was just joking about
FIRST to Alpachino Smith
I LEAVE NOTHING ,Carry him to a hill side and shoot him
burn the rest of my stuff...

LOL sorry for wasting ur time
iRon maiden rules btw i  made a new blog contact me if u want it anyhow u can >.> see that box in the corner? yeah contact me nehow
know i never asked how life was
im sick of typing lol...
MORE WILL(hopefully i wuill have these stuffs lol)
TO ANDREW i leave my blackman sized drawers to him...hopefully he will one day grow into them
TO KRISTOFF   how to be cool like liam a book i will hopefully write before i die kristoff needs it so ever so much

TO JOEL! T title of most awesome human on earth(this comes with jacket and anything else in my room he finds awesome)and some cocoa to rub on his face to see how it is to be a blackman)

TO ANDREW  umm Mustard alot of mustard so tha tnigga cud never reproduce little chinalings ..oh and  a shot gun( i cud always picture him with one

TO JOHNATON  a blow up lady! lo llol

TO SYDNEY SPYKES! SPIKES AND BLACK CLOTHES :P and 7 essential habits for a teenager lol

TO SIMONE   :P ill leave anything tht cud be considered art in my room lol(if i live long i will spend more than half of my income in art)

TO JEAN LUC (almost forgot)  id kwhat cool i cud give jean luc but something cool maybe kids or something lol if i have

lol sick of typing  burn the rest off my unclaimed stuff
and burt
ps.if chino lives after being shot 5 times ,punch him in teh face

Posted at 07:52 pm by sadface
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Sunday, August 10, 2008

You say these things so much you forget what they mean
You see them so much they become routine
you hear it so much you mindlessly repeat
we wear these masks so long we forget who we are ...
love sucks , lifes meaningless ,  i hate
el oh el
people are so dumb
if love sucks ,why do u chase it
if lifes meaningless why do u continue to live
if u hate something u would definatly kill it or try to get rid of it

and so on ,love sucks cuz youv been hurt but then again think about it its our human nature to  search for love even if its a  person of the same sex its nature see u have to do it or die alone it dosnt affect anyone it makes no sense i mean i know the feeling but for the average human we all have sexuality(the will to love and the want to be loved) and thats why were weak see no man ca nstand alone no matter what anyone says  literally and figuratly  this is due to more weakness we are only half or less we are nota whole human  being figurativly maybe the smart people of past reconised this we need love even the coldest hardest basterd needs love even scrouge needed something to love(money,but items can never give u the same they cant love u back)
lifes meaningless ...oh really? this is where we lose ourselves the most  dont tell me u are here for nothing or anyone on that part we all have a reason ..this is based on the fact that we are here think of it were probly half assing our purpose by living our life so half weakly were so afraid its so weak(this is human nature)  lol our pupose is to balance the  gasses in the air if we dont fart everyday the world wud explode lol man life has some meaning dig deeply inside for one if not  look at the art  look at the beauty ,the life the  natural rythem of things the simple pleasures(i cud go on forever) they never go away even though stress goes away  or what ever problems but nothing is sure look at forever and think  life exists  for a reason humans are just blind to it and they were blinder back then so maybe our eyes are opening ^_^
there is hope (weird me trying t ospread some hope)
do i really need to explain hate? im sick of typing  just a message of hop[e a little bit
im anti everything but  v gave me strenght  i believe in a god ut thats another story his name is v not bob  sorry ^_^
ill stop typing while im on a roll :P
v for victory
l@T0r h@T0rz

Posted at 09:47 pm by sadface
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gah disfunction/funcction

these people
everydirect family member all my brothers and sisters
from top left is leighenne(the one i semi dislike) u can capture kidnap and rape her if u want she has made my life semi hard going right is loran  she was really skinny and  cool cuz she used to listen to rock somewhat(both of them but loran less poser) and she was more down to earth in a sense  idk i liekd her more idk why cuz she was just cooler my other sister dropped out of teh struggle and accepted her poserism loran just got semi mature idk to muc hon her below the b ig headed  one is my mom i think thning is i dotn look or act anything like her but iom shaped liek my uincels so i know its true to the right the  chubby looking one is my sis she was hot and thats al i remmeber cuz she got married and ledft seven years ago ( u think i remember her?)
below the top right picture the dood in the scrub llooking thing thats my biggest bro cant remeber him either cuz hes 2 old but he always was cool to me and gave me alot of stufff and expected highly of him the dark red one hes my bro leron he made this and he  is soo vain but hes cool icant explain without making this a long post hes probly my fav sib cu i grew up with him and we somewqhat get along even though we oppisiste(just say we have total different interests in nearly everything but video  games) the ddarkest one in the bottom middle is yours truely(only one pic of me eh ) when i was liek 14-15 id kbefore i started to change and look weird idk how to say uch more girls even seemed to be interested in me back then lol(i was into video  games back then o well) that dudes awsesome my four nieces and nephews   amia(a my ah_idk her real name jesse(idk his real name) navine i thin it is and lisian in the middle the chubby one these are semi good pics of them lol and to the right zavi(idk his real name) he is foni but i pick on him
lol point of this idk bored really  nehow ill put a next picture of me

well the quality dropped cuz the pic was real big liek taking up my whole  monitor screen and it shrank and kind shake up but w/v thast me @ 16 makinga rxy sing lol  in my lucky tshirt   before a party which was not so fun but w/v  pay close attention to how my whole face raises when i raise my eyebrows lol

Posted at 01:32 am by sadface
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Saturday, August 09, 2008
adding to bucket list

*do a v for vendetta lay see one act in one or direct one 
all of them will make me feel  the same warmness lol
*inspore someone to rebel but not mindlessly show them what i see maybe my child
*learn all shakespear poetry to empress girls i take taht back but i wont remove it  i dont liek his poetry again i pnly like the short ones which i cant find t o learn  lol they arnt really poems jus tlong ass things he said
(infact learn all thiose poems i readlol)
*leave the country with some1 i mean lke go to a next country with a friend like so ill havbe some1 to share my adventure with..
*paint something paint i forgot i must learn to paint(after massacreing my poor wall oi think i shud learn lol)
*grow secure and become smart try somehow to raise my iq by 30 points(thats like  ummm L)
ok im getting bored of this lame list

YAY theyr sending my  sister to new york thank god thank god shes be gone for a while this is a high point she destroyed my uncles machine this morning so im glad shes going ! yay thank god he does exist maybe he just ignores us until we reach up[ there
this is my record for alot of  posts in one day

Posted at 05:06 am by sadface
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when the bad emotions are gone i like to trap the feeling

   they cant fix anything,only put on fake smiles and pretend everythings a result of my reality              
i feel liek if ive cried for a few hours and then stopped lol
people the yare stupid , they wont ever accept the truth so stuck up on societys philosophy that they cant finnd their own  only using some normal way of life they just wont make their own liek normal  animals 
i think thast the fall of man they wont accept themselves as animals considering thems selves greater than everythng never helped any1 !  people worms of the earth  the ylost all grasp of what nature is trying to organise sooo much they have cause utter chaos we call world today they fought for freedom so much  that they tore it away from themselves, they rebeled so much they forgot the cause they rebel to anything now
most people sit and think of why more than going and finding out  after every question there shud be a action that action shud be to find out... but nah they dont understand that   they live they die they suffer  whcih is pretty much life summed up for them  the y sell there souls  for "sucess" and dont decide what sucess is to them ever 
i watch at my mother and cry dhe works and makes money but  shes  no where near happy shes a mess to me even if shes good in other peoples world to her i dont believe shes a hapy dhe dosnt seem so she didnt chase her dreams or try to make her heaven:( she just turns her face to the world and smiles while inside i bet shes dieing
i say theres a system
i say why theres a reason people do this
i say this is not human nature
shame is not of man  even thouh sadness is
wudnt u rather be happy and shame than sad and not shame
so bleed it out  doods
which is infact a big post out of nothing but whatever 
remember the fifth of november
        one day
maybe when im read yto die im going to put on a guy fawkes mask and kill a few people ... i wont call any names
later nobody... i dare you to challenge

Posted at 04:46 am by sadface
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i wont go down and stay dpwn

i wont go down as a goth or emo or  god hater today has just changed me  sorry not to much just in life u have to change and u have to  liamn is dead dammit  long time ago  idk anyhow ill always be liam but ill always change  nehow looo k ill work hard and get out ill have negative proactivity im not gonna stay down gosh i cant excplain sorry i wont be a whiny bitch ever never nevr never never i wont lie and cry on the floor  i wont   burden my friend s  woth complains i can hold myself up still i can srtill be it i can stil lexist normally i hope im not thaat bad off life is shit but  i g have a fully functional brain and a high iiq and a good level of determination  i can make it i can be rich and sucessful and i can  be fucking happy and mak this world a slightly betetr place and hurt or burden no1
i can keep my mind pure and not fucking sell my soul and time for money
i can fal lin love if  itry really hard and  i could work hard to keep it up a relationship is work and if i work  really hard i can make anything work if i get knocked down i swear i will alwyas get back up and im brnging  my friends up if the y get knocked down to
everybody cud tel lme shut up if they  wat fuck them i wont listen

Posted at 01:13 am by sadface
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this somg makes to much sense now   to much every fuckign thing! omg all the lyrics for once in life a slipknot song tops my list of facorite song in my head its so fucking apparent to me now that i shud be a fucking angry slipknot maggot under these circumstances ive kept my cool to  long ive listened ive helped ive took the shitty end of the stick way to muc hin this house  LYRICS
am i the only one in this house with a brain they are so mindless and insulting and fucking  selfish and stupid and fucked up its so fucked up o so ever so fucker up
my mother got angry cuz we all share one bathroom and its like alot of us so my grandma said buold a next one but my house is sincomplete and my mom is gonan extend in the front idk wtf happened but my mom got real angry and trashed  my grandmas   living room area fucking brainless ent   my mind it complains to me alot  i mean i do want to kil all these mother fuckers i want to klill them all and im capable of it i dont care cuz i dont have much feeling for them they are like strangers to me  i could but i wont i dont wnat to but i want to alll the time i can write a essay or literaally talk about it cuz other instances but ill just  type about the events of today   my father hes gone you know  my step dad and my real father they both more orr less gone like stupuid fuckers stupid stuid assholes i hate them both really more ofr les inside i might be normal with thme nbut no love there  ,i have no role ma=odel male  these fuckes are a patethic   how many times have you wanted to die ! its to late for me well thats as literal as it is for me im already  fucking dead  its all in your head well nothing meaningful to me
Do you wanna feel pain?!
Taking my name in vain; caring never felt so lame inside.always fucking involving me
Anybody else got pride? Do you wanna take my life? do u want me to get angry do u want me to fight with you?
Who the fuck are you? Fuck you!FUCK THEM I DONT LOVE THEM
Better suck it up cause you bled through,MOTHER FUCKERS WORE ME THIN MY PATIENCE
Better get away from me.MOTHER FUCKERS!
Stay the fuck away from me!STAY THE FUCK  AWAY FROM ME!@
I feel safe - seems you're saved.!! LUCKY MOTHER FUCKERS SEE IM SO CALM SOO FUCKIN G LUCKY
I feel safe, it, seems you're saved!!FUCK! HATE THEM STILL
Look me in my brand new eye x3!! fuck fuck i hate them all i hate them all  no more no fucking more my brand new eye is hate
Mother Fucker!
 no one can understand cuz they cant see calafonia(my life,me) without marlon brandos eyes(without being me)
my dumb fuck sister who made my crack head uncle trip by simly being so fucking brainless she destroyed his machine so expensve the shit is  cuz he told her to go away when my mom was tripping cuz he swas trying to calm her down fuck  then ontop of that i was calm u know still all this uncle mother brother grandma outside tryong to kill each other outside im stilkl calm and happy cuz i talking to simone and i dont care about them then the stupid fuckers start to call me to help them pick there shit up and when i move  little fucktwit  come and  starts to play solitaire fuck fuck fuck     LALL IVE FUCKING GOT IS INSANE ION THIS FUCKING SHIT I HAVE CALLED THIS LIFE! FUCK! see im calm now see slipknit is good it hollowed meout i literally feel cold inside why did simone have to go boy !  fuck they so lucky  i feel safe yeah so fucking lucky  slipknot exists 
lemme calm down cuz this is not good for me  fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
later haters idk if i mite write fora long time i have nothign again dude i mean i want to but i dotn  cuz im 2 fuckign angry and im not letting it win im going to search for soem more of that inner peace stuff i used to have ,,,

Posted at 12:32 am by sadface
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Friday, August 08, 2008
its one of thsoe days

it seems im annoying every one :( <- real frown cuz im iritated and they so boring gah

Posted at 01:29 am by sadface
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Thursday, August 07, 2008

yeah its a fact of life everybody tells me shut up i cant explai ni cant explain but evrybody tells me shut up
i mean no1 wants me to be me if u think about it  nobody wants to see me lol no  one wants to hear it ,why cant i be normal?!lol i dont want to be why can no one leave me to be me   this is a age old cry! the ytry to silence me lol  dont get me started on this topic i dont want to splay my mind on you it will probly crush u  but thats why im me any way thats why i turned liek this its your fault (8)i did it to  my self  cuz everybody tell me shut up(8) i  dont liek to spill my mind on my blog so im keeping it short this is not the half of it i dont want to be a angry person  nemore
i love music it makes me realise that im stereotyped punk  which i dont  reallly think
im more of a  urban hoodlum hippie pacifist hater  trying to make it out of here
wh ycant epopel just leave me alone...

Posted at 08:32 pm by sadface
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REdone bucket list

why is it called a bucket list please god explain to me i know im 2dumb to undersadb

*FIGHT WITH URIAH FABIEN!(Urijah Faber ) ( atleast go in a ring with him  ill probly come out dead)
*go to a system of a down concert(if the yreunite)(and go on they whole tour yes  i want to follow around 4 old men in  a sweaty bus lol)
*stroke shavo odadjians  glorious beard
*get a bass guitar
*be a total hero baddass dude atleast like  5 times and then ive done my good to the world( imean like save some abused kids or wives ,help out a bullied kid or something)
*Throw shuriken (at a l ive human being, i voulenteer chino :P jokes ^.~)
* mix my own mma style and name it awesome!
*HAVE AN AWESOME CHILD!! name him awesome and teach him awesomejitsu lol
*let my super child beat the crap out of uriah fabien
*make a small manga write a poetry book write a small novel no  long stuff just some small adventures that some kid wud find 15-20 years later and say(char. name) is my hero u knwo spread a little inspiration
* i want to be a physogolist to help people and fither my study of the human but OMG! i want to give some1 a suicide note lol be like a  recomended suicide!
*fall in deeep deeep insane love with some1! i mean i love the feeling  i love love ...finding love is teh hated part
*PLAY A GUITAR ON STAGE (i mean i dont have to know how to play ill justy jump about like mth)
*DO MANY EXTREME THINGS!(extreme sports eg(bunjee jumping  all tha trada!
*BOX JUMPINNGGG! liek what joel made up...nvm
*one or two terrorist acts onto those who deserve it
* make a  wooden anbu mask and paint it and give it meaning
*learn v for vendetta word for word(almost got it!)
ok list to long lol way to long
maybe i shud just start back writing my inner thoughts

Posted at 07:49 pm by sadface
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February 3rd 1991  (Age 26)
Ocean Avenue
what the fuck?

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